I should be announcing a healthy litter of beautiful puppies, but sadly, it was not to be. I know, I’m shocked too. With two solid ties under our belt, we thought it was a sure thing. Even Lucy seemed to think it was happening - her appetite increased, she gained weight, developed a beautiful, shiny coat and she became much more affectionate than usual. I was fairly confident that we would have puppies arriving sometime this fall.
However, mid-August, when we returned from a week at the lake, I expected to come back to a roly-poly mama, ready to give birth in a few weeks. She bounded from our dogsitter’s home like a young pup, looking trim and energetic. Doubt crept in for the first time that Lucy may not be expecting like we hoped and over the next few weeks any signs we thought she had been showing earlier seemed to disappear. Lucy’s due date came and went with no puppies.
A bitter disappointment to be sure - for several families and ourselves included! We had plans to keep a female from this litter. My kids were especially sad to miss out on keeping a wriggling bundle of fur all to ourselves this fall. We were so certain of success, we felt the failure of it keenly.
It seemed that our whole fall was dumped upside down in a moment. I had planned our entire fall around the arrival of puppies. Just like the arrival of any newborn, you prepare for the disruptions in the daily routine, the lack of time to get some of the basics done, and you make plans not to plan anything for some time.
On top of the empty whelping box, my garden failed to produce much of anything this summer. You heard about my struggle to get anything to come up, well once I FinAlLy got things going, it looked promising. Large, beautiful plants spread all over my garden. Unfortunately, appearance was about all it had going for it. I never got a single slicing tomato from my 12 plants (grateful for the ever- faithful cherry tomatoes for at least a little fresh tomato goodness). The cucumbers were AWFUL. The few that did arrive were terrible - soapy and full of seeds. ONE zucchini (how is that even possible???). Beans. Don’t even get me started on the beans. The so-called bush variety I planted sent vines all over the place and gave me enough for two measly dinners. It was such a disappointing season. (Now, I’m watching my butternut and pumpkins and there appears to be a few out there - all is not completely lost).
Not only did my garden fail me, my faithful homeschool co-op fell apart a week before it was due to start (in case you’re wondering, a co-op is a gathering of several homeschool families interested in putting together classes for our kids so they can benefit from the expertise of other parents on various subjects). With puppies on the way at the start of the school year, I had planned my kids’ daily lessons around what they would already be getting at the co-op to lift some of the burden of preparation at home. Its sudden death at the last minute left me feeling a bit overwhelmed with the task of reinventing our school year in a matter of weeks. And on top of it, my two high schoolers decided to attend classes in person rather than online. Suddenly, two of my kids seemed lost to me, gone all. day. long. I’m sure that sounds a bit dramatic… but when you’ve been used to having all your children clustered in chaos around you all day, it is a huge adjustment when all of a sudden some of them are just not there. Only 4 left… how odd.
AND (yes, I go on), I love soccer. My kids love soccer. We decided to set that aside this fall for the sake of the puppy chaos. Here I was now, with only 4 kids at home, a school year completely turned upside down, nothing coming out of the garden to put up, no soccer to play, AND no puppies to show for it all.
I tell you I panicked a bit. If you haven’t caught on by now, I don’t do well when my plans go awry. I am highly organized, I get things done. And it all relies heavily on my ability to hold many things up in the air at once - kind of like the Cat in the Hat standing on the ball holding the cake and the rake and the fish in the bowl (we’ve been into Dr. Suess lately…). When that carefully balanced mess topples, it’s not pretty. And mine had toppled. I floundered for a week or two, feeling a bit lost… wondering how to sort of pick up the pieces and still have a school year for my kids that engaged them in their learning and kept them held to what is important to us at home… with some of them not even at home any more (insert crying face here). It all seems a bit silly now thinking about how much I sort of struggled with things not going my way and maybe only those of you who suffer from control-freakishness will really understand, but I definitely pouted a bit about all the “unlucky” turn of events.
With nothing in the plans, we just went outside. The river, a waterfall, a picnic, a swimming hole with a rope swing. Heck, we homeschooled. Everyone else might have to go back to school right now (including my own two that actually chose to voluntarily sign on to be inside a large institution ALL DAY… but I’m not bitter), but there’s no start date for us. We soaked up every last moment of summer sun and enjoyed it thoroughly. And honestly, there is not much more therapeutic than God’s green earth. I got my head on straight and was able to see the big picture a bit. Things began to untangle themselves from the mess I felt we had plunged into.
No puppies meant freedom. No garden meant I wasn’t obligated to spend those last hot summer days canning and freezing in a stuffy kitchen. No co-op meant I could do it ALL my own way. Only 4 at home meant I wasn’t spread so thin during the day, trying to meet everyone’s educational needs all at ONCE (because everyone always needs your help at the same, exact moment). No soccer meant we had afternoons to do different things and no games on Saturdays which gives us all kinds of family free time.
And so it hasn’t been so bleak really at all. In fact, I might have to admit, my plans were maybe not as good. We’ve been hiking and started a field trip group. I based our learning around the trips we have been taking - the Revolutionary War and National Parks. I have time to get back into honey bees and time to spend with my 12 year old to get him set up as the new beekeeper. We started horseback riding lessons with a friend. And since we’ve always wanted to learn how to play the drums, we started making time to use our church’s set a few times a week with some YouTube videos. We’ve picked up some tennis rackets to try something new and had some new neighbors over for dinner. We even did something my kids have begged to do for years that we miss every fall because we are too busy - make apple cider with our old press. And I’ve checked off ALL kinds of things from my farm to-do list - those things that linger from years past that you never quite ever seem to be able to get to… THAT has felt really good.
In my reading recently one morning I came across this, “She smiles at the future…” Proverbs 31:25 Something I’ve probably read a dozen times or more but it struck a chord this time. We can never be certain what the future holds, but I CAN be absolutely certain of one truth… the end result is always worked out for our good. We are to smile at the future, looking forward to what it will bring through anything and everything that comes knowing that it will be GOOD.
Puppies are planned for spring 2025. Until then, Lucy will be enjoying life hiking and homeschooling with us :).
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